The code

A code of honor
A way of life
A deafening silence
A quiet thunderstorm


I can still remember clearly
Days when I moved in the shadows freely
Senses heightened
I traversed stealthy.

Now I've lost my touch
They'd say I've gotten lazy
.shiiiiiiiiid
I'd prolly have to agree

Times have changed
Rules have evolved
& If you can't adapt
then your name gets called

Where does that leave me?
Standing on the inside
Wondering.....
Do I Continue to live the lazy life?
or grind toward what made me great.. ?

I've become weak,
I've become soft,
I know these things
because I haven't destroyed you all.

But if I do return
To the form I once held
Make zero mistake about it
It will be bloody, bruised & ready to raise hell......

Maybe....

Maybe its because I don't understand the word selfish
Maybe I've built myself upon being more selfless
Maybe its that small principle that has allowed
My humanity to become split
into pieces amongst the crowd.

Grind for the Shine

.....I have about a month to solidify my grades and ensure that my black ass is gettin up outta here in May. In order for that to happen. I'm gonna have to become a lil mo selfish than the exterior forces probably would prefer.

Just Breathe

Inhale
Take in the essentials
Enhancing the physical
Strengthening the mental
Its a process
That we all go through
When the sick world we live in
Makes ya gasp for the O2
& You wonder who you should go to
.....Just Breathe....

Exhale
Out goes the stress
The setbacks
The thoughts that take away from our more
Leaving us with less.
Cuz its just a process
That we all go through
When we're tryna be great
In all that we do
But the way life is set up
Makes you have to increase your efforts by 2...
....and another 2.....
....and another 2.....
Release the CO2
& Just Breathe.......

I'm just babblin on....

If I said my life is perfect I'd be lyin my ass off
But if I said my life was the pits......I'd be lyin my ass off
My life is a unique conundrum that has yet to be upfolded
Call it the beauty of a story untold

Shyt....with the millions of questions, decisions, & options
bouncing around en mi cabeza
Its not surprising to me that
I keep myself so grounded
In the face all thats goin around
The earth's gravitational constant
has got to be flawed
cuz i swear it takes more than 9.8 meters per second squared
To keep me where I am.

I struggle with reality
Cuz I'm steady dreaming of how I want things to be
Shyt I like my daydreams and premonitions
But lately its been of bombs, wreckage & demolition
I need to get ma head together and complete my mission
before nothings left but dust & rubble...

Here i go babblin on
Just tryna find a spot on this earth where I belong
so far.....so good?...i think?
I guess?....i dont fuckin know....

Mis ojos

.....Mis ojos are a gift
.....Mis ojos are a curse
.....Mis ojos allow me to see beyond the earth

The average human sees everything
But only has the ability to "notice" a small amount of the
Things that their eyes pick up.
Ya know?...like....notice...focus on....yea....now you're gettin it.

Well, knowing this small tidbit of information
I wanted to continue to live as I was.
Just bein me. But with this fact in mind,
I found it hard to find,
The blindness my eyes had.

I wanted to learn, watch, look.
The small, the simple, the complex
The insignificant things that make you....be.....you.

Do I feel wrong for ocularly prying? Nah
Do I feel like I learned something? ....it depends

Upon further analysis and thinking upon past mistakes
I've learned that people will often allow you to think
you're sniffing the right path
Only to be running away down the other
Using your "wanting to be right"
To keep you under lamplight
When the sunlight is def in the other direction.

I often wonder what I have done
Where I'm going
Who will stand with me...

I know the answer to none of these questions.....
Cuz mis ojos will lie to me
Everything you see.....and notice.....
.....ain't the light mayne....

....Lawd

Soooo.....the term "shell of myself" is not something I'd like to describe myself as......But it seems like that is the word for me. Plenty of things I could place the blame on but I won't. Times are changing, and as times change, people change. Yet on the contrary, as times change, people do not change. Its kinda up to us to discern what we're noticing and adjust accordingly. Those that do not adjust often find themselves feeling overwhelmed, inadequate....or both. Life can be hella interesting man. Gotta stay woke & make  tough decisions.....