Newton's Law

You push

You pull

Resultant force?

Zero, Zilch, Nada, Null....

Or is it?

Newton's Law states for every action

There is an equal & opposite reaction

Some of all forces equal to zero

But what if the push and pull are unequal

You pull me close

Then push me harder

I'm not physicist

But it looks like I got pushed farther

And if the forces acting on me 

continue at a constant rate

Then you'll that my displacement

will be altered at a steady pace

Distance affected

And honestly...

I dont feel the need to correct it

I started right there....

now I'm further out here

my eyes are on the diagram

Things are quite as they appear

.....betta check ya forces....

And I'm not talkin Nikes

It’s Time…or is it?

It’s Time…or is it?

Everyday I’m coming face to face with my demons

Wondering where in the world are my angels

I often wonder if there’s a difference

Yall know me…always checking out all the angles

There’s always an explanation

Or at least that’s what I tell myself.

I’m always talking myself out of rising up

Attaching weight onto my potential

Dragging myself through the mud

“It’s much better in your safe space”

“You go out there you might not do as well as you thought you would”

“If you rise too high, you might not be the same guy…

And staying true to who you’ve been….that’s always good.”

How far does the rabbit hole go?

Round and round my mind goes

Where it stops……who the fuck knows.

I want answers

I want elevation

I want freedom

I want a revelation

Where does it begin?

I think the answer is in the mind

I think the answer is in my mind

I Think the answer isn’t hard to find

I think I’ve known the answer the whole time….

When I peer into myself

And I see what I could become

My first instinct is panic

The second is always run

Is it time that I embrace it?

Hop on this wave….pull next to the sun & race it?

I’m not sure if I’m ready to do all that

I’m not sure if I’m ready to sacrifice that

That being the chains of comfort….am I ready? Hell idk.

I do know its 2:03AM & I have work at 7.

So I do know its time to lay my ass down….

& While I Don’t know if I’ll have the answers when morning comes around….

I Do know that I’m tired of holding myself down

NEXT!

NEXT!

In my room listening to the shiny suit theory

As I let this melody carry my mind into the trees

Far from the place you all imagined it to be

Cuz internally I’m running from this task that needs to see

Itself rise from the depths to catch the warmth of the sunset

The warmth of comfort and satisfaction of a job well done.

I know you wanna be nosy.

I mean….who wouldn’t wanna know.

Simply put…I Need to Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it goooo.

Electronica planted the final seed

That my soul needed to finally succeed.

There are things in life that can be so damn blinding

That if you don’t get ya eyes right you’ll shoot yourself

Right off the winding road that is the path to ya dreams

You’re either here to build or to destroy

And I have zero intentions of the latter

I spent sooo long constructing this ladder

But I forgot to take the time to climb it

And so with the next leg of my maturation in my face

And I feel no real desire to remain in this place

I place all my fears, restraints & shackles on this altar

Feel the breeze of progress as it begins to blow

Let it carry all this shit away

Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it gooooo

Can I Be Random

Uhhhh so
Im pretty sure
I have no direction
Or any type of connection
of my thoughts
....meh....at least not at this moment

I have no idea....
This could evolve into something of a masterpiece
Or it could dissolve into just a waste of time for me
Who the hell knows......
Who the hell cares......
Let's See

My mind
A lil bit more complex than the rubiks
A dodecahedron of thoughts
Trying to stay focused
Moving forward
Without tripping up
Knowing good & well that stumbling is all apart of the growth process
The growth process is trash lol
No really...its trash

We all wanna be at the end
Already at point Z
Living like we done been left A
& too the vowel shortcut
over the consonant bull
....well.....I...just like tons of other folk
realizing....this shyt takes time
...and o fuck...look at the time
not only have i run out of steam
my watch is telling me....ive run out of rhymes....

OOOPZ

Keep It Real Tho......

First of all 'merica
Let me say, I'm human
I see, I think, I feel
So in no way shape or form
WIll you find me  apologizing
For the components of life that make me real...

BUT what defines real
or maybe "real" or real?
Fuck if I know
Those definitions that you require
to make you feel better about certain situations
going on in your life make me no mind
Of course I'm lying
Of course it makes me some mind
Or made

Life has an awesome timing system
To let you know when you are no longer needed
In the lives of your peers

Sometimes we fail the mission
to shut up & get missin
because your variable
is not a necessity to the equation
And now that its taken you some
time to define the sum
of the individuals that still think of you as an ally
and at times its staggering
that you cant make it to your toes on the amount of folk you can turn to

Let me slow the train down
Because even that number is a misconception
A misdirection
to the end goal of fuqwitables

The number of people you can count on
Will always be larger than the number of people
That you will feel comfortable turning to
When you get pressed up against that wall

So coming full circle
On the subject of "real"
I dont need your explanation
or your reasoning
Dont need ya side eyes
Or "see that's why"'s

All I need is you to come clean
And simply face the jury of my court
And read....

"You belong on the other side of the greater than sign
When I say the "People You Can count On < People You Can Turn To"

How Green Is Your Grass?

Ok ok....Settle Down Class
Take out your brain
Set out your memories & thoughts
For today's question to ponder is....
How green is your grass???

Does that question make you think?
Make you ponder?
Make you wonder?
Whats beyond?

Beyond what?
Your yard fool....
What goes on once you step off the block
Once you're off the clock
Closed Up Shop
& Make moves

What have you missed
Who have you outgrown
Who has outgrown you
Who remains stagnant
Who's still ignant

Its funny how I speak
Like life is sweet
A far from upside down
My thumb's hue been changed
Because around me....the blades are cripsy
Soil is hard
Climate is arid
Grass is brown...

At times we try to convey like
We have Miracle Gro in our lives
And RoundUp to check the weeds
And the right fertilizer to feed our seeds
In life.....
And I know I'm guilty of the same
And I know I can take 100% of the blame

Cuz I'm just that kind of out of sight
out of mind individual
Voluntary or Forced
The shit occurs
And time begins to blur
With the mundane rotation
Of the cirlce of cycles
Like a hamster in an exercise wheel
We're doomed to let life pass us while sit still

Until we take these steps.....

I'm Sick

Funny how life waits
For the right moment
To rub it in your face
Impeccable timing indeed it is
None greater perhaps than this.

Years ago I discovered a beast
a virus, a plague, an epidemic
That took over my body
Corrupting my life
Inserting more darkness
Depleting me of light.

In order to combat such an evil
I quarantined myself in a cage
and there I remained
until I was able to control the beast
But control was always the least
of my issues.

I had to learn to combat the side effects
The comments
The rumors
The lies
The eyes
Following me once I left the cage
The thoughts from others
Wondering when things will be the same
For the silence was driving them insane

Silence......
The DEAFENING SILENCE.....
The pin drops
And drips from water spouts
Only helped my darkness grow
And keep the beast at bay
And until I get this thing fully in check
.....In my cage I shall stay

...Cuz I'm Sick

No rest for the wicked.......

A filthy place this brain of mine 
and time and time again 
I try to stop collecting these thoughts 
but they get lost all in these paper tossed lofts 
of this frontal lobe

And I swear to you I try
To sort out these thoughts
BUt damn it really it is a lot
Swimming inside my dome

So I built this machine
to filter the good bad and indifferent
and place them nice and neat for me to see
but as you can prolly tell...that didnt work
So now im back to square one

I'm drowning in my own brain
Flood warnings were a tad too late
And now I sit alone inside myself
Outside on the steps in the rain

Why o Why cant I seem to focus
Why o Why cant I seem to get right
What is it i'm lacking
Where is my calm, Where is this foresight?

So the rain showed no signs of letting up
And my clothes were soaked so I got up
To remove myself from the situation of mass hydration
and decided to try a dryer approach

And here I am.....
Solo ridin in the desert of my mind
Wondering what the hell is going on

Apparently I'm damned if I do
Damned if I don't
Melancholy if I will
Downtrodden if I won't

The lesser of two evils will put me 6 feet under
But maybe that there slumber
Will be alot more peaceful
Than the carnage that continues to eat me alive........

I Used to be A Star

I used to be a star….

But in the beginning…

I used to be nothing

Just a cloud of dust that began to rotate

I would spin, slowly

Tryna figure out what it would take

To be a star

To belong in the cosmos with the greats

I got myself together

And before ya knew it

I was spinning faster

At unrecognizable speeds

I was on my way to being something….

Idk what this “something” was….

But dammit its better than where I was

 I realized I wanted to be my own star

Massive, luminous, a stand out guy

Y’all should’ve seen me

And soon I grew

A Giant in my own right

Naw…I was a supergiant

You couldn’t miss me at night

You could see the glow

The aura that drew you in

I was there man…

Ask me and im there

You need it, I got it….

Cuz I’m a star

Bursting with activity

A Supernova in these streets

My shoulders bigger than the cosmos

All the secrets the universe has told me

Because they know

I wont hurt their soul

But…

When you begin to pull so much in

And nothing comes out

I suppose theres no where left for the energy to go

In the end…I had a blowout…..

All the good I did

All the days I grew

And now here lies….a cold black hole

50-50

A line o symmetry
Divides the pie
equal in parts
cannot be differentiated by the eye

Each side mimics the other
A repeating equality
Of yin & yang

Like those annoying math rules
what you do to one side
You must do to the other
Reciprocation is like automation
Because its equal

So....why my fractions not readin 1/2?
What am I to do..
I'm tryna balance these chemical equations
But I'm gettin jumbled responses
And now questions are a-raising
Because I can't seem to fix this simple math.

50 & 50 make 100
a whole
But when you cant get 1+1 to = 1
then ya damn sure not gonna put some extra zeroes out there
....or will you....

place holders meant to show larger quantities
and give increased value to outsiders
trying to see how much you have on you
trying to see if you were good enough to build on your 1+1

A Bunch of Nothin

Call it magic
Call it sorcery
Call it science
Call it what you want
Just don't call it nothin

You can call it damage
You can call it cuttin
You can call it a high that
Cant be touched by nothin

They might call it a nuisance
They might call it a problem
They might have a million excuses
But They dont know how to solve em

He might call it lovely
He might call it beautiful
He might compare it to
All the marvelous wonders of the world

She might call it ugly
She might call it hideous
She might think these things
Without knowing what the reason is

What are we describing?
What is it that we speak of?
What is this person, place or thing
That we can't seem to get the words for?

You can call this creative
You can call it brilliant
You're gonna call it somethin
Until you find out
I just wrote about a whole bunch of nothin
....welcome to my brain lol

War For Me......

Cue the slow motion
And the dramatic violin
This is not the opening scene
...no...we're far from the beginning

Way past the seed being planted
The rising conflict building suspense
We're at the peak
Just before the deciding climax
Just take a small glimpse...

...of the bloodshed
...of the pain
...of the war
...the war for me

There's only one mind
A single conscious
That can be occupied
And now its time
For a leader to arise
The time for choosing sides
Are beyond gone

Who's it gonna be?
Who will rise...who will fall
The ever so helpful Captain Optimist
....and the o-so cold Dark-Matter
The war ravages on
Casualties are high
but thats the price of battle

Whoever wins.....I lose
Right or Left....I don't Choose
There is no diplomacy here....
Somebody will Win...& Somebody will Lose

Death is a gift...Given at Birth
Peace is a mere byproduct...Given From War
Life is allowed to Thrive Because Death has done his Duty
And Thus A Ruler shall Arise...at the Conclusion
of the War For Me.....

Droid of Life

This is the story of a droid

Call em "The Droid of Life"

He is on a journey

Been on it for awhile

His destination is a known unknown

To find the things that make living worthwhile

...the little things that make the humans smile

Along the way there are some troubles

Struggles and learning curves

Hidden agendas and sidebars

And the unseen bullshyt 

that hides behind each & every turn

For him that is no big deal

Because without a reason to feel

There is no reason to stop 

and rest on his heels

No reason to gather his composure

No reason to search for closure

For he's here only for research

Reconnaissance at its very best 

He's just a robot

Programmed to finish the mission

Acquiring help along the way is an option

But help gets assimilated into his programming

...and then it gets missing

So I suppose the best thing for him to do

Is learn what they do

And swap out their parts that weren't infected by others

Parts that they either no longer need

Or found more suitable upgrades along the way

If the droid of life deems you unsuitable

Then you're swapped out

Tis simple

& We Deal With it

Smiles

"Today is a day.....so its always a good day to smile....."

Smiles are so very necessary these days.

Smiles are a signal

Smiles are a deterrent

Smiles are indicators of great things

...past & current.

From the youngest to the oldest

A smile is universal

A smile is infectious

A smile shows the world

your day is currently headin in the right direction

A smile is golden

A smile is divine

So why dammit

....can't I seem to find mine.....

Maybe........

Do I seem perturbed?
Maybe I am
Maybe I am not.
Maybe I'm just releasing alot of things I had on the inside
Maybe I'm just taking in more than I can hide.
Maybe I'm destined for greatness.
Maybe I'm heading for failure.
Maybe I'm on a cosmic ride called life and I dont know where its taking me.
Maybe I'm crazy.
Maybe I'm insane.
Maybe I'm just here to change the game.
Maybe the game is broken...
Maybe life is supposed to be easy
Maybe I lied

...(ok I lied)...

Maybe you lied too?
Maybe thats what people that care do?
Maybe thats NOT what people that care do? (LOL)
Maybe you dont care?
Maybe I dont?
Maybe I should eat something?
....maybe I won't....
Maybe I want some water
Maybe I want some liquor
Maybe I should leave her alone
Maybe I Should kiss her
Maybe I'll do something productive today
Maybe I'll be lazy
All these questions & I never once questioned...
Maybe my black ass is crazy....

Maybe the laugh's on me
& Life was telling me a joke...

or thats how the song goes lol......

#HeartLess

Your Happy

....In a world where the selfish rule

with an iron fist

And passion is most found in dreams

Someone must've made a hell of a wish

That someone like me would come

And try to fill his world with some happy.

Even if temporary

I'd let you borrow parts of my soul

if it meant your world could feel whole

for just a few more minutes

And never questioned it

Cuz who couldn't use a pick-me-up

Even though at nights it tired me out

I wanted to curse, scream & shout

Proclaim my frustration at life's situations I found myself in

But I would hold it in, cuz I'm strong enough

I'd focus on what made me happy

And that's making others happy

But that's not needed now

All thats needed sometimes is a lil jump start

And you too can produce your own Happy

Wake it Up

I stepped up
Not knowing what to say
But somehow I knew
That you were just gonna be mine after today

Quit lookin down
Fixed my lips to speak
But quickly closed them
Couldn't get out a peep

Something about you was mesmerizing
Blinding in nature
I was fixated on the aura that surround you
....& yet my dumbass still couldn't say hey yet

"Hey...my is Funny...
Yes...that's my name...
you can call me that if you want"
I could see in your eyes.....its all game
You'd eye roll if you could
& I'd laugh it off, give a lil cough
About face & walk away
Mission for the day complete
But hey...it is what it is....
At least we spoke
Just another thought to us being one......

& Then I woke up.......

One Day Mayb (09/15/08)

Times neva cease
Gravity does pull
Things Flip (Brookmere!)
I'll trip
Nd wen I fall in life, It hurts

But Then I thought
Wat if One Day Mayb...
Wat if I Fall, Nd I doesn't hurt?
Wat if i cease to feel?
Feel joy
Feel pain
Feel life's sunshine
Feel life's rain
Wat if One Day Mayb...
I go from a being full of life
To just an empty shell
To cast human emotion
To the gates of hell
Into exile, out of sight
Out of mind.
Wat would it be like
If i saw you cry
I couldn't feel your pain
If i saw you mad
Id let you go insane
If you smiled at me with your eyes, 
I wouldnt catch the jist
It seems as tho the world as i kno
would cease to exist
If one day mayb....

Its like some of us treat those close to us.
Like all feeling has left our bones
Like past, present, & future feelings no longer hit home
Tears of sorrow are like ghosts
They go rite though you
Silence is a knife, cuz it'll tear right through you
Thats why i speak my mind
Bcuz a closed mouth leaves the world nothing left to do but assume
And we all kno damn well tha world assumes the worst
So open your mind, mouth & ears
Cuz you can't assume the "true" life i live
Cuz you can't handle the "true" life of a

Flipped (08/27/08)

Welcome Back...

Society's Been Tryin Me
Love's Been Lyin 2 Me
Evil Hidez in Me
And Still I try 2 be
The best person that could ever reside in me.
And they say...I flipped

BUT...

Is it I who took a life 360
or is it those who sought to frighten me
those who want to see me
Back where I shouldn't be
Those who could neva see
What true "depths" lie in what they see
Because they see me, and yet they can't see "ME"

The "ME" that sleeps, wen I'm up
The "ME" that awakens wen I want to give up
The "ME" that is fearless
The "ME" that I call my "HEarTLeSS"
The "ME" that always & forever shall be a "WE"

Ma Bro told me "Be Ready"
CuZ Shyt Gon Flip
Gravity Gon PulL
Cuz We All have our gifts
But with a gift, comes our curse
Cuz we have a Curse
The Curse is the "ME" on the inside
The Curse that we've all been given to demonstrate
To the World that our life was not a fluke

Heartless/Nobody (Part 2) (02/28/08)

So i suppose you was waitin 4 me 2 explain

Da second part of the name

Tha name dat branded ma soul

That began tha tale

That tale that is now beginning anotha chapter

A chapter in tha story of a legend

Nobody

Lame, wack, social leper, those were namez for it

It always seemed dat i was an outcast

Seemed to be no avoidin' it

Wateva was happenin in tha world,

i was usually four steps behind

Night life............wat was dat

I stayed in da house and dat was dat

Final Fantasy nd mayb a lil madden

Mondayz were tha worst

Always had 2 listen 2 othas bout wat had happened

Man just 4 once

I wanted 2 b apart of it

But I stayed away

for fear of rejection

I became a member of my own section

outcast of society

but never did i lose

tha tru part of me

never felt tha need 2 fake a front

to put on a big stunt

fittin' in was neva dat important

i rocked ma cheap azz shoes

each and every day

excelled in sports

nd brought bak All A'z

that face in tha clouds

still refuses to fully surface today

but im lettin ma good side show

the dark part of mah life

helped me show my light

to those that kno me

dey kno im right

where'z there'z light

there'z also tha dark

i've learned to live with both

nd never will we part

my light keepz helpz me smile

my dark keepz me alive

put them 2getha...u have a man wit pride

AJ is ma Heartless

Henry is ma Nobody

Put em 2getha

nd u got 1 hell of a sumbody

so people

embrace your darkness

cherish your light

use them both

to do wat chu feel is rite