Uhhhh so
Im pretty sure
I have no direction
Or any type of connection
of my thoughts
....meh....at least not at this moment
I have no idea....
This could evolve into something of a masterpiece
Or it could dissolve into just a waste of time for me
Who the hell knows......
Who the hell cares......
Let's See
My mind
A lil bit more complex than the rubiks
A dodecahedron of thoughts
Trying to stay focused
Moving forward
Without tripping up
Knowing good & well that stumbling is all apart of the growth process
The growth process is trash lol
No really...its trash
We all wanna be at the end
Already at point Z
Living like we done been left A
& too the vowel shortcut
over the consonant bull
....well.....I...just like tons of other folk
realizing....this shyt takes time
...and o fuck...look at the time
not only have i run out of steam
my watch is telling me....ive run out of rhymes....
OOOPZ
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Keep It Real Tho......
First of all 'merica
Let me say, I'm human
I see, I think, I feel
So in no way shape or form
WIll you find me apologizing
For the components of life that make me real...
BUT what defines real
or maybe "real" or real?
Fuck if I know
Those definitions that you require
to make you feel better about certain situations
going on in your life make me no mind
Of course I'm lying
Of course it makes me some mind
Or made
Life has an awesome timing system
To let you know when you are no longer needed
In the lives of your peers
Sometimes we fail the mission
to shut up & get missin
because your variable
is not a necessity to the equation
And now that its taken you some
time to define the sum
of the individuals that still think of you as an ally
and at times its staggering
that you cant make it to your toes on the amount of folk you can turn to
Let me slow the train down
Because even that number is a misconception
A misdirection
to the end goal of fuqwitables
The number of people you can count on
Will always be larger than the number of people
That you will feel comfortable turning to
When you get pressed up against that wall
So coming full circle
On the subject of "real"
I dont need your explanation
or your reasoning
Dont need ya side eyes
Or "see that's why"'s
All I need is you to come clean
And simply face the jury of my court
And read....
"You belong on the other side of the greater than sign
When I say the "People You Can count On < People You Can Turn To"
Let me say, I'm human
I see, I think, I feel
So in no way shape or form
WIll you find me apologizing
For the components of life that make me real...
BUT what defines real
or maybe "real" or real?
Fuck if I know
Those definitions that you require
to make you feel better about certain situations
going on in your life make me no mind
Of course I'm lying
Of course it makes me some mind
Or made
Life has an awesome timing system
To let you know when you are no longer needed
In the lives of your peers
Sometimes we fail the mission
to shut up & get missin
because your variable
is not a necessity to the equation
And now that its taken you some
time to define the sum
of the individuals that still think of you as an ally
and at times its staggering
that you cant make it to your toes on the amount of folk you can turn to
Let me slow the train down
Because even that number is a misconception
A misdirection
to the end goal of fuqwitables
The number of people you can count on
Will always be larger than the number of people
That you will feel comfortable turning to
When you get pressed up against that wall
So coming full circle
On the subject of "real"
I dont need your explanation
or your reasoning
Dont need ya side eyes
Or "see that's why"'s
All I need is you to come clean
And simply face the jury of my court
And read....
"You belong on the other side of the greater than sign
When I say the "People You Can count On < People You Can Turn To"
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Tatted Up Pt 2 (April 23, 2009 at 5:54am)
That night
I didn't kno if it was a dream or a vision
but i saw i collection of things flash one by one
Yin
Yang
The moon
Sunset
Random objects came and went
As i tossed and turned in my sleep
Waking up from time to time
Just to cry my sorry ass back to sleep
The next morning
I awoke to a terrible pain
I didnt kno wat to do
Thinkin of wat would happen in my head
So I made up a lie and told my parents i fell off the bunk bed
I felt different in the inside
Like a new person
Just in the same lame body
Of course after someone getz knocked out
within a week the whole school knows
So answering questions continued and slowly got old
Time passed but i never forgot that day
Cuz that was the day that changed my thought pattern
Seeing the true nature of my "people" changed how i thought
It changed how i saw people
It changed how i saw myself
The world was no longer the same
I felt free...no longer stuck to play their game
It wasn't hate that i was feelin
But it was just different
I could see all that they did
Nd i could free myself from it
I stopped tryin to be like them
I stopped tryin to talk as they did
I stopped tryin to act as they did
Henry wasnt dead
but i pushed his ass to the side
i became super vulgar
super smarter
super wiser
I became AJ FUnny
No More....No Less
Charlotte, NC
perfect time to start over
nd wat better place to do it
than in West Meck High school
aka...the jail cell
Wonderful results
as bein myself brought the right people in my circle
i slowly accelerated my pace in the learning process
girls, friends...it kept comin
but one thing i had to remember
stay humble
Those that got the "big head"
didnt seem to make it far
nd seeing that i wanted alot more than
the money, clothes & cars
i was gonna have to keep a low profile
and an open mind
cuz those that get the tunnel vision
often dont see the bullet coming from the side
NC A&T soon became my home
it was not until this time that i fully understood
that It took four years to realize
That another being resided in my mind
based on the "evil" so to speak that was created from that fateful day
He was here to say wat needed to be said
He was here to do wat needed to be done
He was here to make sure
watever battle i got into
that shyt was gonna be won
He'll never leave
Bcuz i won't let him
He'll never forsake me
For I am him
Therefore I am We
Nd of course...
We is Me....
You can call me AJ
But i'll call me
~HeaRTleSS~
I didn't kno if it was a dream or a vision
but i saw i collection of things flash one by one
Yin
Yang
The moon
Sunset
Random objects came and went
As i tossed and turned in my sleep
Waking up from time to time
Just to cry my sorry ass back to sleep
The next morning
I awoke to a terrible pain
I didnt kno wat to do
Thinkin of wat would happen in my head
So I made up a lie and told my parents i fell off the bunk bed
I felt different in the inside
Like a new person
Just in the same lame body
Of course after someone getz knocked out
within a week the whole school knows
So answering questions continued and slowly got old
Time passed but i never forgot that day
Cuz that was the day that changed my thought pattern
Seeing the true nature of my "people" changed how i thought
It changed how i saw people
It changed how i saw myself
The world was no longer the same
I felt free...no longer stuck to play their game
It wasn't hate that i was feelin
But it was just different
I could see all that they did
Nd i could free myself from it
I stopped tryin to be like them
I stopped tryin to talk as they did
I stopped tryin to act as they did
Henry wasnt dead
but i pushed his ass to the side
i became super vulgar
super smarter
super wiser
I became AJ FUnny
No More....No Less
Charlotte, NC
perfect time to start over
nd wat better place to do it
than in West Meck High school
aka...the jail cell
Wonderful results
as bein myself brought the right people in my circle
i slowly accelerated my pace in the learning process
girls, friends...it kept comin
but one thing i had to remember
stay humble
Those that got the "big head"
didnt seem to make it far
nd seeing that i wanted alot more than
the money, clothes & cars
i was gonna have to keep a low profile
and an open mind
cuz those that get the tunnel vision
often dont see the bullet coming from the side
NC A&T soon became my home
it was not until this time that i fully understood
that It took four years to realize
That another being resided in my mind
based on the "evil" so to speak that was created from that fateful day
He was here to say wat needed to be said
He was here to do wat needed to be done
He was here to make sure
watever battle i got into
that shyt was gonna be won
He'll never leave
Bcuz i won't let him
He'll never forsake me
For I am him
Therefore I am We
Nd of course...
We is Me....
You can call me AJ
But i'll call me
~HeaRTleSS~
Tatted Up (April 23, 2009 at 5:54am)
Lookin at the new ink on my arm
A million thoughts rushed through my head
Would my friends ask me the purpose behind the symbol
Would i be forever tainted as a "Heartless" individual
The answer is....yes
Cuz its all true but to a certain extent
Those who think they should kno.........will kno
Sit back, relax, and once more here the story
of how this symbol on my arm came to be
Nerd, loser, lame, bitch nigga
Some of the terms that arrived in my ear canal
wen i remember times back in VA Beach
it seemed i was takin baby steps in social life
makin strides in academics
everyone knowz that makez a giant target sign
all on your neck
words, paper balls, pencils
damn even basketballs were the shots fired at ma black ass
everyday i counted down til 2 o clock hit
so i could get thru all da bullshyt
so all through middle & part of high school
i was the definite polar opposite of the word cool
But it would be one particular event
which would begin the mental split
which would begin the half that didnt give two shyts
which would spark the birth of the "HeartLess"
Playin basketball around the way
Somehow i knew i just wasnt my day
Not only was i missin shots
but the area bully was at the court
somehow i just knew i was gonna get clocked
sho nuff a game of slap boxing
turned ugly nd there i stood
facing tha diesel azz bully....
sad thing is i wasnt facing him
wen he decided it was time
to put me in line
details of the next few seconds are still a blur to my mind
bcuz i was TOLD that he came from the side
connected wit a powerful hook to the face
hit so hard it could erase my memories of wat happened
........as a matter of fact...it did...
Seconds later i woke up to a roar of laughter
The few that i didnt really consider friends
but i dealt wit them on a daily basis
were doubled over,
stomach split in two
I had no clue wat to do...
So with my brother at my side
I took the walk of shame
Back down to MacQueen Drive
Terrible pain in my mouth
Anger built in my soul
Nd i went to sleep...
deep inside...bore a hole..............
A million thoughts rushed through my head
Would my friends ask me the purpose behind the symbol
Would i be forever tainted as a "Heartless" individual
The answer is....yes
Cuz its all true but to a certain extent
Those who think they should kno.........will kno
Sit back, relax, and once more here the story
of how this symbol on my arm came to be
Nerd, loser, lame, bitch nigga
Some of the terms that arrived in my ear canal
wen i remember times back in VA Beach
it seemed i was takin baby steps in social life
makin strides in academics
everyone knowz that makez a giant target sign
all on your neck
words, paper balls, pencils
damn even basketballs were the shots fired at ma black ass
everyday i counted down til 2 o clock hit
so i could get thru all da bullshyt
so all through middle & part of high school
i was the definite polar opposite of the word cool
But it would be one particular event
which would begin the mental split
which would begin the half that didnt give two shyts
which would spark the birth of the "HeartLess"
Playin basketball around the way
Somehow i knew i just wasnt my day
Not only was i missin shots
but the area bully was at the court
somehow i just knew i was gonna get clocked
sho nuff a game of slap boxing
turned ugly nd there i stood
facing tha diesel azz bully....
sad thing is i wasnt facing him
wen he decided it was time
to put me in line
details of the next few seconds are still a blur to my mind
bcuz i was TOLD that he came from the side
connected wit a powerful hook to the face
hit so hard it could erase my memories of wat happened
........as a matter of fact...it did...
Seconds later i woke up to a roar of laughter
The few that i didnt really consider friends
but i dealt wit them on a daily basis
were doubled over,
stomach split in two
I had no clue wat to do...
So with my brother at my side
I took the walk of shame
Back down to MacQueen Drive
Terrible pain in my mouth
Anger built in my soul
Nd i went to sleep...
deep inside...bore a hole..............
Ladies Of Time (April 23, 2009 at 4:22am)
Sweet memories
Memories of Life'z Past
Past was the lady that I left behind
I left her behind bcuz dat chick Future was showin me more action
So taking an unsure thing that was full of uncertainty
Future would always have me thinkin one thing
But would end up as another
Danger, passion, surprises had me runnin for cover
Word on the block was I was actin brand new
LIke i caught amnesia
Forgot everything & everyone i knew
Future had me on a high
thought i'd never come down
wen in reality...
i was assin' myself out
lookin like a clown
forsaking everything i gained from Past
yes people, i'll admit
during that time.........i was an ASS!
I decided to text Past to see how she was
She told me that she hadn't forgotten bout me
Past says that her time in my life had been long gone
Nd even though the time we had could never b forgotten
It time for her to move on and fall back
Nd yes she forgave me for treatin her like crap
tears rolled down my cheeks cuz the girl of ma dreams was now slowly fadin' back
Back into a group of memories
Memories i could only see in my mind
I told her that i was sorry
Cuz since i had my head caught all in Future's ass
I was blinded by the fast excitement of wat she had to offer
instead of simply enjoyin the good times come
I simply sat back nd thought....wat have i done
Past texted me back
some five dayz later
There was some chick she had wanted me to meet
Here name was Present but dont think she's miss Right Now
She knowz how to hold her own
Nd she holdz her man down
So me & Present began to talk
I liked her style cuz she was more than right now
She was all about actions, reactions nd important decisions
But she wasnt always strictly business
She taught me how to enjoy life at that moment
How to soak in tha laughter that would come every now & then
Appreciation was the first word wen i thought of her
Nd i hope i always wake up next to her
I sometimes wonder how many people forget or have already forgotten about her
Cuz they were lost in the good or bad times of Past
or the Uncertainties and Mysteries of Future
Sometimes you just gotta live...wit Present...
~HeaRTleSS~
Memories of Life'z Past
Past was the lady that I left behind
I left her behind bcuz dat chick Future was showin me more action
So taking an unsure thing that was full of uncertainty
Future would always have me thinkin one thing
But would end up as another
Danger, passion, surprises had me runnin for cover
Word on the block was I was actin brand new
LIke i caught amnesia
Forgot everything & everyone i knew
Future had me on a high
thought i'd never come down
wen in reality...
i was assin' myself out
lookin like a clown
forsaking everything i gained from Past
yes people, i'll admit
during that time.........i was an ASS!
I decided to text Past to see how she was
She told me that she hadn't forgotten bout me
Past says that her time in my life had been long gone
Nd even though the time we had could never b forgotten
It time for her to move on and fall back
Nd yes she forgave me for treatin her like crap
tears rolled down my cheeks cuz the girl of ma dreams was now slowly fadin' back
Back into a group of memories
Memories i could only see in my mind
I told her that i was sorry
Cuz since i had my head caught all in Future's ass
I was blinded by the fast excitement of wat she had to offer
instead of simply enjoyin the good times come
I simply sat back nd thought....wat have i done
Past texted me back
some five dayz later
There was some chick she had wanted me to meet
Here name was Present but dont think she's miss Right Now
She knowz how to hold her own
Nd she holdz her man down
So me & Present began to talk
I liked her style cuz she was more than right now
She was all about actions, reactions nd important decisions
But she wasnt always strictly business
She taught me how to enjoy life at that moment
How to soak in tha laughter that would come every now & then
Appreciation was the first word wen i thought of her
Nd i hope i always wake up next to her
I sometimes wonder how many people forget or have already forgotten about her
Cuz they were lost in the good or bad times of Past
or the Uncertainties and Mysteries of Future
Sometimes you just gotta live...wit Present...
~HeaRTleSS~
AND....YEAR 19......CUT...>]Beautiful!!! (April 7, 2009 at 12:07am)
As a year of my being
Comes to a close
Itz only right that i let those know
Thatz itz both my friendz, family, & even enemies
that make my soul glow
itz my friends that i hold dear
for without yall
who else would be there when my great ignorance appears
who would i run to, when problems arise
who would i turn to, when it seemed tha world left my side
but just as their ears were open for me
it was plain to see
that my ears, & arms
would protect them from any harm
i live for ma friendz
cuz i have faith that they'll ride for me
i'm not doin me bcuz society tellz me to
i'm doin me cuz i'm leavin ma legacy!
Now while i hold my friends in the highest esteem
I hold my enemies higher than my dreams
for it is without you that i could not rise up
i rose up from the ashes
took ya negative & wiped ...yes...i said ....wiped ma ass
turned ma head to the sky
nd began to ride ma path to greatness
Just bcuz we dont see eye to eye dont make you an enemy
But tryin to slow my stride.....well.....
I couldnt give a damn o wat u think of me...
CUZ IM GREAT...HOE!!!!
Year 19 was a trip
Year 20 is on tha way
But to me....
This is only just another day
Dayz that pile on
Recorded in the Lord'z eyes
Cuz im just tryin 2 make it to tha next prize
Next Prize = Next Day
I Appreciate the world
For wat it has given to me
Not a thing will ever make me wanna take back
ANYTHING that has happened to me
Cuz ima leapfrog it, nd chuck a deuce
Look out during this next 365.....
~HeaRTleSS~ & ~NoBoDY~ are on the loose!!!
Yea...caught cha eatin....got em!!
PARKIN LOT CARNAGE!
311 HOE!...NUFF SAID
Comes to a close
Itz only right that i let those know
Thatz itz both my friendz, family, & even enemies
that make my soul glow
itz my friends that i hold dear
for without yall
who else would be there when my great ignorance appears
who would i run to, when problems arise
who would i turn to, when it seemed tha world left my side
but just as their ears were open for me
it was plain to see
that my ears, & arms
would protect them from any harm
i live for ma friendz
cuz i have faith that they'll ride for me
i'm not doin me bcuz society tellz me to
i'm doin me cuz i'm leavin ma legacy!
Now while i hold my friends in the highest esteem
I hold my enemies higher than my dreams
for it is without you that i could not rise up
i rose up from the ashes
took ya negative & wiped ...yes...i said ....wiped ma ass
turned ma head to the sky
nd began to ride ma path to greatness
Just bcuz we dont see eye to eye dont make you an enemy
But tryin to slow my stride.....well.....
I couldnt give a damn o wat u think of me...
CUZ IM GREAT...HOE!!!!
Year 19 was a trip
Year 20 is on tha way
But to me....
This is only just another day
Dayz that pile on
Recorded in the Lord'z eyes
Cuz im just tryin 2 make it to tha next prize
Next Prize = Next Day
I Appreciate the world
For wat it has given to me
Not a thing will ever make me wanna take back
ANYTHING that has happened to me
Cuz ima leapfrog it, nd chuck a deuce
Look out during this next 365.....
~HeaRTleSS~ & ~NoBoDY~ are on the loose!!!
Yea...caught cha eatin....got em!!PARKIN LOT CARNAGE!311 HOE!...NUFF SAID
{my cage} (March 20, 2009 at 6:58am)
welcome to my cage
allow me to give you the tour
to a place & time
you've never been before
As you walk in
You quickly come to recognize
This is no ordinary cage
No chain-link fence, no padded walls
Look up...you'll notice that there'z no ceiling at all.....
Duh...simply bcuz
Skies the limit here in the cage
I rise above all with my calm & my rage
When i need to escape
I dont look to buses, bikes & cars
I simply release my stress
Nd rise til i'm amongst the stars
No weed usage here,
adrenaline is my drug
used in moderation
my cage is my home
my cage is my nation
there are rules
And before any rule
comes to ride
it must meet approval from my 2 {Two} sides....
Tha cage is my refuge
Wen Life turnz its back on me
Tha cage is my rehab
Wen Friendz & Family hurt us
Tha cage is where i make lemonade
Wen life handz me a shytload of lemons
Tha cage is my origin
For this is where tha "Great Mind Split" began
Tha cage is where I stand
Tha cage is where I will end
Though it takes some focus
Searching for an answer, you'll soon find
That this cage
Is not room 310b, it aint 311.....
This cage
It Exists in my {Mind}.....
allow me to give you the tour
to a place & time
you've never been before
As you walk in
You quickly come to recognize
This is no ordinary cage
No chain-link fence, no padded walls
Look up...you'll notice that there'z no ceiling at all.....
Duh...simply bcuz
Skies the limit here in the cage
I rise above all with my calm & my rage
When i need to escape
I dont look to buses, bikes & cars
I simply release my stress
Nd rise til i'm amongst the stars
No weed usage here,
adrenaline is my drug
used in moderation
my cage is my home
my cage is my nation
there are rules
And before any rule
comes to ride
it must meet approval from my 2 {Two} sides....
Tha cage is my refuge
Wen Life turnz its back on me
Tha cage is my rehab
Wen Friendz & Family hurt us
Tha cage is where i make lemonade
Wen life handz me a shytload of lemons
Tha cage is my origin
For this is where tha "Great Mind Split" began
Tha cage is where I stand
Tha cage is where I will end
Though it takes some focus
Searching for an answer, you'll soon find
That this cage
Is not room 310b, it aint 311.....
This cage
It Exists in my {Mind}.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)