Old Poetry --- Key's Open Doors(11.2.07)

"Keys Open Doors"

If yall seen me
Dat yall know watz good
Cuz Im dat guy..wit all tha lockz on his hood.
Now some have asked
wat do they all mean
Nd to some wat would seem
like a trend to you, is a reminder to me

Deep inside, i cant hide
wat has happened in the past
These memories will forever last, 
inside each lock is the moment
That refused to let ma heart free
Nd these dreadful moments 
Have burrowed a whole in me

But you cant run
You gotta face em
You cant replace lost feelin's
Wit fake ones
Cuz tha past will soon replace them
Then you're just an empty vessel

Some of yall r askin,
How would he Know?
Cuz i been there
ma heart has been way too cold..
for too long.

Cuz i neva was the one to speak
Neva toted the heat
Neva smoked blunt
Neva cussed at ma mom
Neva thought i was da bomb
Deez locks is ma struggle..
O yea i had to hustle


Cuz you see
Tha locks is mah struggles
Locks is on ma door
Life gives ya keys
Keys open Doors
Doors release ya soul
To dat natural high feelin
Dat just makes ya smile
ya happy to be alive
Its tha joy that makez ya momma cry
Wen she sees walk across tha stage
On ya graduation day
So why live wit a hole
In ya heart
You too can start over today

Old Poetry --- Golden Brown (10.24.07)

Golden Brown

What words come to mind?
What dreams will one find?
When the thought of the Golden Brown gurl runs through ma mind.

Its almost impossible to believe
Dat she would talk to me,
yes me, shy guy Aj Funny

So much 2 learn, I kno so little
All i need is dat one-on-one
2 Start me on way way
Which way?
Da path dat lets me get cha.

U want a friend...Dats Me!
U want sum1 to watch ball wit...Dats Me!
U want sum1 to play games wit...Dats Me!
U want sum1 to dance..plz believe...Dats Me!
Nd if ya need sum1 to cry wit...believe it or not..Dats Me! (MAYBE..LOL)

So take a ride wit me
Special things gon happen
Nd i guarantee you'll See
Dat da only games we gon play wit each other is Madden

So much beauty, nd u so cool
U walk by nd im tryin not 2 drool.
So much 2 share, but we got time
So ima kick back relax, nd slowly make ya mine.

My First NFL Game.....

Never...and mean NEEEEEEVERRRRRR would I ever picture my first NFL game being in some club level seats. And I never would've thought that I'd be going to a game this early in life. But mannnnnnn I am so glad I was able to have the opportunity to come to the Giants/Panthers game yesterday. Like...blessing is an understatement........true loss for words at the experience. From the time I got out the car (major shoutout to Kierra for bringin me to Charlotte from da boro) to when I was boarding the train back to school, I....was.....JACKED UP!!! Big ups to Alston for the hook up with the ticket & hospitality.

I'm saving the actual "Game Review" for later because I feel like it deserves its own post. But here are some of my memories from this glorious W in life & for the W the Giants earned out there.

Another day....Another lesson......

Important lesson folks:.....Your body.......is an evil lil fucker...and will betray your mind EVERY chance it doesn't agree with you. Like no matter what your mind says....your body, which technically is that of a human, which is a mammal, a type of animal, has its own agenda with life. Basic survival functions is all the body knows. And when the body is deprived of some of its natural functions, IE: water, sleep, sex, etc....then it has the ability to overpower the mind to ensure that its survival needs are met. Sounds crazy right?......well...think of it like this....ever wake up in the mornin', get out of bed, turn off your alarm, take one look at your bed....and AUTOMATICALLY hop back in. And then wake up late for class? ...yeaaaa.....body takeover.

Old Poetry --- Tears Open Doors (10.19.07)

Tears Open Doors

In a flash back, i track back
to a time when, tha only friends i had 
were tha ghosts raisin' tha hairs on ma back
to a time when, mah only drive to stay alive
was a chance to run around tha track

the chance to be free
for those twenty four seconds
down tha 200 meter dash was all me
there was no spectators, there was no me
there was just space, i was space, space was me
there were no bullies, no jokes, no guns
there was just space to run

Run Away from tha fear
Run Away from ma tears
Run Away from tha spirits
Run Away cuz i didnt wanna hear it

Didnt wanna hear ma brother died
Didnt wanna hear ma mother cry
Didnt wanna hear all ma false pride
that kept me alive, wen all i was doin was livin a lie

And as I ran, The tears ran
Down ma cheeks
Somehow they empowered me, 
Told the coward in me, "MAN UP"

I was not a baby anymore,
it was time for me to step up.
Doors were closin' in ma past, new ones openin up
It was ma decision to give it all up.

Start over, begin anew
It was like runnin a lap
Finish one, got anotha to do
Ma spirit lifted, i felt gifted
to have a second chance
to take a quick glance
and realize, that it wasnt for me.

Tears roll down ma face right now
it 3:18 on ma AM dial.
cuz da past is a powerful thing
Da joy of makin it through makez me wanna sing..
but we gon skip dat part, save it for lata

Tears open doors
Either past or present
The time of day, you must give it
Dont run from ur past
Cuz damn, that thing is fast
take ur mistakes, harness em
smack it on tha ass,

And ride your memories to tha next door
be mindful of whats in store,
utilize your friends, thats wat we're here for
Cuz some of us already kno,
TEARS OPEN DOORS

More curveballs....sureeeee

Man....life sureeee loves to throw curveballs at ya. And seeing as I was never good at baseball......lets just say I don't know exactly how to swing at em. Normally I wouldn't mind sharin my struggle with you people but until I have a firm understanding as to what the hell i actually did this time....I'll keep my mouth shut.

I'm thankful for my family & friends helpin me out tho.

....Football indeed is back....

All bullshit aside this was a hell of a weekend for some football America. From major BCS college ball, to good ol HBCU ball, to the NFL....there is nothing better for me to say than...Football is back.

With that said check out my football blog. More to be added!

Old Poetry ---- .....But I'm Not Finished Yet (10.18.07)

....But I'm Not Finished Yet

I think I've said this a million tymes
Nd no matter how many tymes ma eyez have cried,
Nd no matta how many tymes ive wanted to run nd hide,
I gotta rememba that i've come a LONG WAY...
BUT IM NOT FINISHED YET...

I've been through the rain nd tha pain
False accusations thrown all up nd down ma name
But tha storms not over yet, so its all tha same
Mama aint raise no punk quitter...
SO IM NOT FINISHED YET...

Learned alot wen i fell, learned more wen i stood back up
In tha memory of ma brotha X, i just cant give up,
But not just for me, i do it for all of you,
The liars, tha cheaters, tha hangin in tha street beaters
The silent, tha violent,I'm tellin you 
you are worth more than shyt
Look into ya momma's eyes, and as u both cry
lean into her ear nd whisper so she can hear
u say....IM NOT FINISHED YET

Im here to blaze a path, 
so yall can do tha math, nd see
dat it dont take much to be, a bum
but..it also doesnt take much to be, a sum...body
look at cha people, you can see it they eyes
tell em stand up wit pride..cuz
THEY AINT FINISHED YET

If u see tha potential
Then they can see tha potential
we are all tha same
we all play tha same game
but tha rules change
Some got tha hard route, some got it easy
me, im tellin you, aint nuttin easy bout bein me
There wasnt a day back at home
where i prayed i could go bak to bein tha old me
man i cooked, cleaned, looked afta a younger brotha nd a niece
i wanted to quit so bad.. but then i looked at ma niece
saw her smile, said 2maself...
this hardship is gon b worth ma while...
nd i said to dat gurl
IM NOT FINISHED YET..

So i leave you with this
Its only midterms kidz
Pull yaselves together
Make some changes for tha betta
Look yaself in tha mirror, nd say it wit sum Force
CUZ WE AINT FINISHED YET...

Old Poetry -- Whatz Happenin World (10.15.07)

What's Happenin World....

itz been awhile since i last sat down

alot has been happenin around town

alot of feelings have been laid, tossed, nd mixed up AND down

and NOW i see where i can go when i am wearin a frown

All i need is a bag of skittles and a moment of ya time

Open up ya mind so u can help me fix mine

IIght..look I kno we all here to get on our grind

We all have those whose smile we wanna see all tha time

Da shear thought of dissapointin' those that look up 2 me

Is enuff to blow a hole in ma mind.

All I know is..I came too far to not get mine

So Don't Stop me, Push me to further

Cuz I swear tha more people i have behind me

I gets Stronger like Kanye..

I wanna do this like Limp Bizkit..nd say i did it My Way.

I cant slip up, I can't fail, I got to much PRIDE

I am tha Moony Suzuki

Turn me on, Turn me up, & Turn me loose I am alive & amplified

Of course there's gonna be some setbacks

but Funny Sr. said i cant fail

he said i've made it so much further than ya boiz in jail

No disrespect to those I left behind

i hope u all get out nd nd Touch The Sky

O no, plz wait, cuz im not done

I still have yet to tell yall bout that one

I feel like an azz weneva she's around

I get all dumbfounded..yes me..say round

Da gameplan is always in da brain

Im screamin' speak to her..

Feelin' like SWV in Rain

But they never come, I say sumin dumb

Then go bak to starin' at tha sky 

thinkin bout wat could come

Wat could come if I dont move fast

Cuz u kno pretty gurlz do get gone

Nd da sheer memory of ur chance is just tha past

Tha past

But all in all..

I gotta get mine

I kno I can do her right

If she only knew wat was in ma mind

Da things dat i try to say but cant

Da things I'll pledge to u

Da things I'll do, to show u

Dat im here 4 u.

But in tha mean time im Daydreamin like Lupe

2:14 AM on a school day

should be sleepin'

but then ill b dreamin

Bout tha golden girl....No not her aurora

But her soul of gold, im skeemin

ima find a way...to open ma mouf

she gon kno just wat this guy from da souf

can do

If she's askin Who Can I Run To?

Den she can Xscape to me,

Nd she will she

Wat happens wen Tha Loser Gets Tha Gurl

Old Poetry - Questions On My Mind (10.1.07)

Questions On My Mind

So maybe yall can help me out there in tha Facebook world. As a lay here in ma bed, wonderin' bout the world i inhabit at tha current moment, I sit and wonder to myself, there's so many different types of girl here at skool. So why is it that I have to act like an ass in order to get noticed. Not that I've done that or that I'm puttin' down ma boiz dat act lyke an ass. If it works, it works, more power to ya. But here's what I'm sayin..

What is it dat im missin'

Am I not outgoing enough

Is ma love life meant 2 b rough?

Must I sit and listen and read about 

how all these laidies is fed up

Dealin with losers and lames

Dat get girls only to boost their own name

Dat say, " Eyyy she's mine"

So dat game will recognize game..

If u get her, u got her, all im sayin is keep her

for tha right reasons..nd if u kno u'z a cheater

Well damn nigga leave her..

Cuz there's nothin' dat I hate more

Than havin' to see a woman's tearz hit tha floor,

See I have so much 2 offer,

Dat individuality, personality, nd wen needed sexuality

Dat could stimulate a relationship

Nd lift ur soul outta reality.

Have u sayin, "Dis can't b real

I found ma diamond in tha rough"

I make ya tell ya girlfriends, "I gotta steal"

Now who woulda thought, dat dis guy AJ,

would make me feel like a queen,

Would make me 4get all tha little things.

But that'z just watz missing.

Ma otha half 2 ma equation

Ma soul is blazin', 

Am I really gonna b forced to be a good friend

Nothin more, somethin less,

while i watch ur life fill with stress.

Unnecessary bull, dat chu dont need

Niggaz'll put u down, nd make ur soul bleed.

Big upz 2 tha guys dat hold it down.

2 tha guys dat rememba wat they momma told em

Neva make a gurl frown.

Cuz u have a motha and/or a sista.

Nd dat gurl u talk 2 is sum1'z daughter or sista

"NOW WOULD U WANT SUM1 TO MAKE UR MOMMA OR SISTA CRY?"

SO rememba dat look in ya motha's eye.

when u told her dat chu would b tha guy.

Nd as 4 me..ima try...

datz all i can do..

IZ TRY

To Be Or Not To Be......In The Eyes of HeartLess (9.7.07)

To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause: there's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,

The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,

The insolence of office and the spurns

That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscover'd country from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action.

MY INTERPRETATION

The question is: is it better to be alive or dead? Is it nobler to put up with all the nasty things that luck throws your way, or to fight against all those troubles by simply putting an end to them once and for all? Dying, sleeping—that's all dying is—a sleep that ends all the heartache and shocks that life on earth gives us—that's an achievement to wish for. To die, to sleep—to sleep, maybe to dream. Ah, but there's the catch: in death's sleep who knows what kind of dreams might come, after we've put the noise and commotion of life behind us. That's certainly something to worry about. That's the consideration that makes us stretch out our sufferings so long.After all, who would put up with all life's humiliations—the abuse from superiors, the insults of arrogant men, the pangs of unrequited love, the inefficiency of the legal system, the rudeness of people in office, and the mistreatment good people have to take from bad—when you could simply take out your knife and call it quits? Who would choose to grunt and sweat through an exhausting life, unless they were afraid of something dreadful after death, the undiscovered country from which no visitor returns, which we wonder about without getting any answers from and which makes us stick to the evils we know rather than rush off to seek the ones we don't? Fear of death makes us all cowards, and our natural boldness becomes weak with too much thinking. Actions that should be carried out at once get misdirected, and stop being actions at all.

Old Poetry -- Dat Something I See (9.4.07)

Dat Something I See

When I first saw you 

You had sparkle in your eye 

Like the starts at night 

High in the sky 

How I wish 

That you were mine 

'Cause to me 

You're one of a kind 

When I look at you 

It seems so untrue 

How someone like you 

Can make me feel the way you do 

You're so fine 

For all the world to see 

I find you hard to believe, you see 

You make me want to love you 

When I look at you 

I don't know what to do 

How someone just like you

Can make me feel weak like you do.

Late at night

I just can't sleep

Darkness all around, nothing in my sight

But somehow, without using an inch of my might

Ur face appears to me,

Such beauty could bring a tear to my eye.

I got to get into my life

I lay there and tell myself

She got me sprung and i aint even smash

Sadly enuff people, its the truth.

There's Something inside of you.

Far more than physical beauty goes.

Its tyme for me to be with a queen,

And quit playin' wit these hoes.

Love is something most don't take seriously

For a part of my life I didn't either

But around you, I forget about the past

Present dont matter either, im lookin' for the future

And off in the distance 

i see us in the park

holdin hands while it gets dark

Bein' wit chu is so good, i neva wanna stop.

But now im craven ya body is this real

Temperatures rising, i dont wanna feel

that im in the wrong place to be real

Gurl, now im longin' 2 love you for more than just one night

kissin' and huggin' and holdin' u tight.

There's a reason that we're here

There's a reason that i'll never have to fear

That when Im' with you

Those reasons will never have to disappear

Im no football star

Kinda far from genius

so wat do i have to offer you??

Baby its my all

Cuz i promise, after their litle love games have been played

And their reasons begin to fade, cuz it was all just a parade

IMA B THERE

CUZ U JUST GOT DAT SOMETHING I SEE.....