I'm Sick

Funny how life waits
For the right moment
To rub it in your face
Impeccable timing indeed it is
None greater perhaps than this.

Years ago I discovered a beast
a virus, a plague, an epidemic
That took over my body
Corrupting my life
Inserting more darkness
Depleting me of light.

In order to combat such an evil
I quarantined myself in a cage
and there I remained
until I was able to control the beast
But control was always the least
of my issues.

I had to learn to combat the side effects
The comments
The rumors
The lies
The eyes
Following me once I left the cage
The thoughts from others
Wondering when things will be the same
For the silence was driving them insane

Silence......
The DEAFENING SILENCE.....
The pin drops
And drips from water spouts
Only helped my darkness grow
And keep the beast at bay
And until I get this thing fully in check
.....In my cage I shall stay

...Cuz I'm Sick

Itz A Beast! (February 24, 2009 at 10:26pm)

An issue begins as a germ
Small in size
Yet the issue has to potential
To rip humans apart
How you ask....
Fill it with lies

See...the issue is planted in the mind
Of a select few
But frustration coupled with silence
Multiplied over time
Nd it exponentially....grew
now the germz tha issue created are spreading an alarming pace
they infect tha body at such an alarming rate
nd itz funny how the germs of an issue are spread
cuz it happenz wen nd only wen.....
wordz are said

See...the frustration beginz to mount
Nd the initial victim just wantz to let the frustration out
So he does...to his friend
Tha friend doesnt kno it
But the issue is now in him
spreading in his body
his emotions all change to match that of the initial victim
all rationality goes out the window
Wordz become ur worst enemy
Because you want no part of it
Until curiosity bitez u in the ass
Now you wanna kno watz up
..SIlly Fool...you have no clue
That the issue virus...is now in you

As your friendz story is told to you
You feel your emotions become twisted and confused
"Wow...damn....nigga i had no clue"
Words that come to you
As u begin to formulate opinions
of the ones you "thought" you knew
But wait there kidz...itz not done
Cuz now u have the strongest to tell someone...

See....You find one of your closest peoples
Someone you kno u can tell
Cuz if u dont soon
You're gonna crack like an egg shell
All this talk, whether true or false is going
All this time, the issue is still growing
Multiplying.....Spreading.....
Evolving.............

Cuz now the virus has got back to the other original party involved
Nd now it seems like thingz will never be resolved
Bcuz the virus beingz anew
When intial victim #2
tellz his crew
watz been goin down
& on the other side of town
the virus has already done its job
bcuz all reason is gone
Nothin is left is hate

The virus isnt there anymore
It has evolved once more
All that stands are two Beasts
One from victim #1
One from victim #2
but this aint japanese tv
tha Beasts aint finna take this to the streets
Cuz u dont understand yet do u
The Beast comes only to destroy lives
Take friendshipz, nd leave nothing but hate and spite
Cuz it will swallow you whole
Nd the you...that I once knew
will never be seen again
Nd of course you'll b ma friend
But....from a distance
Cuz i aint catchin no virus
Not again....no way

So look forward to a time of no me
Cuz this bullshyt is mad painful to see
I've handled my virus
And its hard to watch from a distance
Knowin all tha great shyt you'll miss
But at wat expense?
Deedz were done
Ties were broken
But time heals all wounds
Thatz if you dont let the Beast Consume.....

Ma Fam! (February 19, 2009 at 4:55am)

We the best
Nd thats the only damn way to put it
This is my circlec
No alltel needed
these niggaz is my AT&T
cuz nights & weekends wit them
tha good times are free

everything aint peachy
sometimes shyt gets hard
problems arise
& up goes ya guard
they said "Sooner or Later,
It'll all come crashing down"
and thatz true
but wen it comes down
i kno im not alone
cuz i got ma fam
sittin all around me
nd they'll neva let me go
into the abyss
that swallows a person whole
never again will i have to see that sorrow

they say good friends come & go
get some, lose some
well shyt if u must kno
that wen this year is said & done
tha fam will live on
takin memories of the past
nd using them to ignite the flames of tha future
Good times are coming
Bad times are coming
Those are for certain
But with those comes more
And more
ANd more
AND more
Cuz tha world doesnt stop
nd neither will we
we just tryna make somethin of our life
bein tha best niggaz we can be

...hmmm....i can see it now
peoplez readin this tryna b nosey see......
tryna make us look like the evil lil niggaz society
makes us out to be
but shyt in case yall dont already kno
i've said it once, but i guess yall dont kno

I rep 311....

& "We Don't Love Dem Ho3s!"

Itz Da Fam....but wait...WHERETHA FUCK IS TJ????? DAMNIT HARRIS!SPECIAL SHOUTOUT 2 DEM ECSU GIRLZ!UGHHHHHH......HEAD..........2...............BIG.......TAKE....THA.........DAYUM.........PICTURE..........U kno wat man....fuck emWe a fool....where u @ Ashley????????/

Fuck ThaaaaaaaaaaaT! (February 9, 2009 at 1:40am)

I'm the same
I'm a lame
I always play the same game
But i'll change it up
So that they only see the change
From the last guy
Play wit ya emotions
Put ya on dat emotional roller coaster
Tha upz, downz, and everything in between
That eventually makez shyt feel like heaven.....or so it seemz
But ummmmmmmmmm....niggaaaa.........

FUCK THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

I'm the same
Living off past glory
Not searchin for anew...
Reachin ma peak and not expanding
on all the shyt that my great mind could do
I'll just kick back and relax
Let the riches of the world slip from my grasp
....hmmmmmmmmm.........
meaning the dreams of tomorrow were never meant to last
my life....just another breeze thru the spring grass....
came......nd whoosh nigga...........gone.....
but c'mon now...........

FUCK THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

I'm the same
Arrogance is my name
Swag is my game
but um....swag....i cant define it
But since all the rappers (not hip hop artists) say it
then i got to have it
Cuz u kno....i got game
Nd my game is swag
Northern girls love my southern swag
Shyt.......Southern chix love my southern swag
But neither group can tell me wat swag is....
But i can bag em up nd be done wit em b4 the end of the month
Why.....AYEEE cuz they love my swag....
>.........ummm...yeaaaa.......ol swag nigga......

FUCK THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

DEDICATED TO CARL, THA BIG 3, & BOOM BOOM

& OF COURSE MA YUUUUUUUULE-NIGGA...COURT!

No rest for the wicked.......

A filthy place this brain of mine 
and time and time again 
I try to stop collecting these thoughts 
but they get lost all in these paper tossed lofts 
of this frontal lobe

And I swear to you I try
To sort out these thoughts
BUt damn it really it is a lot
Swimming inside my dome

So I built this machine
to filter the good bad and indifferent
and place them nice and neat for me to see
but as you can prolly tell...that didnt work
So now im back to square one

I'm drowning in my own brain
Flood warnings were a tad too late
And now I sit alone inside myself
Outside on the steps in the rain

Why o Why cant I seem to focus
Why o Why cant I seem to get right
What is it i'm lacking
Where is my calm, Where is this foresight?

So the rain showed no signs of letting up
And my clothes were soaked so I got up
To remove myself from the situation of mass hydration
and decided to try a dryer approach

And here I am.....
Solo ridin in the desert of my mind
Wondering what the hell is going on

Apparently I'm damned if I do
Damned if I don't
Melancholy if I will
Downtrodden if I won't

The lesser of two evils will put me 6 feet under
But maybe that there slumber
Will be alot more peaceful
Than the carnage that continues to eat me alive........

PERFECT PT. 2 AKA .....THA BREAKUP (January 23, 2009 at 6:40am)

Time passes on
Get tired of that time bomb
tha one that goes off ...ooooooooo
every ten minutes
...tired of tha relationship and everything in it
......even tired of hittin it????????
yea nigga....that too
so tha question is...
how to do it???

you'll b a bitch if ya let a friend do it
but you don't wanna argue all night if u hop 2 it
but my future integrity
is more important that a few hours of insanity
all because i didn't take the time to see
that beauty compiled with a tight body
doesn't mean that her inner self is fine tuned
but the sex allowed me to look past her "tude"
didnt let me see that her shyt stank
she was truly Miss doo-doo
let me oversee the childish antics
and illogical reasoning of this woman
............nd so it goes down..........

We argue for an hour and forty-two
about tha thingz i put her through
how she was there for me wen my life was bad
how she was the one who kept me on ur feet
now i second guess wat the hell i'm doing
is she really a parasite
or does she need 2 get tha hell out my life
fifty-three point seven secondz of silence transpire
she sayz i love you....
i say liar
i grab my coat....
she beginz to cry
i stare.....& sigh....
& turn.....
she hopz up.....grABz my arm
says dont leave me
i say...i;m sorry
..................DAMN................

tha walk bak 2 my room
feelz so new
like a burden lifted off my shoulderz
but at the same time
i feel like i did wrong..timeout
i thought i was in the right
jeeezz......watz a nigga to do
sleeping it off doesnt help
wen i see her in my dreams
great...can't sleep.....time is 4:32
yall have same class in five hours
you can already taste ur guilt
damn.......dat shyt is sour
but u did right...no sour necessary
life is sweet.....or...........at least it should b
..............ding ding nigga...class time..........

not a word exchanged
just one hateful glance
in my direction
well....at least you can look at her.......
...............................................
......................without getting an erection
class over...
I look over my shoulder
nd she'z hoppin into tha passenger
Of ma best friend Navigator

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHHYYTTTTTTTTTTTT


& NO....this is NOT....A TRUE STORY!

Perfect....A Semi-Negro-Narrative (January 23, 2009 at 6:19am)

I saw her in my dreams
Pure goddess in all that i could see
Never thought i had a chance
Everytime i took a glance
that i could fill my life with such beauty
She'z untouchable to me
I'd give her my liver
Her smile makez ma body quiver
Ma heartbeat is 4.289 times quicker
I stay daydreamin in class
about all that i could give her
I'll even take her last name
Anything to be her mister
Anything to get her number on some paper
...........well........cell phone

So i got the gall
Remembered i had ballz
Walked up to her slowly
She turned slightly
Itz like see can see right past me
like im not even there
But i dont care
i'm already here
just say hi, how ya doin
my name is AJ Funny
nd im a pretty swell guy
id just thought u were fricken beautiful
not tryin 2 embarrass myself so.........bye

well not really bye
i'd extend this conversation
but i got a class @ 12
so i was wonderin wen i had some time to kill
i could call ya
& we could discuss wateva
not tryin push all up on ya
but if i dont do this my mind, you'll neva get off of
..............that
..............deadly
..............nervewrecking
..............silence
..............b4 the verdict
..................................(bout 2 damn shyt myself wit anxiousness)
.......................................................
so she says yea,
you can text me 2nite
damn near jumped out ma clothes
good thing ma belt is on tight
lata on that night,
thinkin tha time is right
i shoot a text her way
wat up...how was ur day.....
......convo presses on
......seems like a keeper
......just one problem.....
i aint meet the real her
b4 i kno it, im goin over to see her
golden ticket in ma pocket
lordz kno im not gon skeet in her (on her mayb....heh heh heh)

Pre-mature relationship
I'm ready prepared for her shyt
How her head is big as shyt
never laid-back
always in some drama shyt
she type disrespectful
even to mama chick
u had no clue wat u was walkin into
but tha sex was so crazy u aint kno wat 2 do
break her "heart" and neva hit again (or so they want u 2 think....lol)
or sit & be miserable and yes...smash again
she seemed so perfect...........




HELL NO....IM NOT DONE

HIGH! (January 10, 2009 at 11:46pm)

Worry?
I Do Not
For I am in her care
So I never dare
To think she'd do me wrong
Her eyes sing me a song
That lulls me 2 sleep
My trust she'll always keep
Cuz I kno that she's the one

The One to take away the pain
Tha pain that made it rain.
Rain that is just a distant memory.
Cuz now...
I'm on cloud nine
A nigga is SO high
nd you ask...
How High is He?????

Welllllllllllllll.........
I catch contact from her smile
Her eyes..they drive me wild
I get a buzz from her touch
Shyt...its betta than tha kush . . . (and no....i dont smoke)
You'd b tipsy 
if u even saw they way she kissed me
So drawn out in love
All the lame haters diss me
But its cool
Cuz i cant see em
Cuz im up so high
up on tha 747 of love...chillen in tha sky
wit ma goddess on my right
ridin' off into the night
Her last treated her wrong
But she kno i'll do her right
Dont matter who'z around
She'z the baddest thing in sight

Nd they can't take me from her
Cuz she got me so HIGH!....

LOL...(LIQ IN SYSTEM...PRODUCES GREAT RESULTS......)

Greatness... (January 5, 2009 at 2:59am)

Im down

Im low

But I won't remain here

I refuse to live in fear

Fear that I may become another you

Fear that by society's standards of the black male

I'll b just another you

But not me

Im not you

We bare the same name

But i wont play your game

Money pwns your life

We're the same creed

They call you Henry

But i call you Greed

Wealth you chase

Nd you've found a way

But money doesnt make you happy

Stealing the joy of others 

Is the only thing that will brighten ur day

Bcuz i can't see the finish line

Doesn't mean i've failed

It just means i've got a ways to go

But to you

Its an excuse to sink to an all new low

You wont bring me down with you

Cuz I am Greatness

I am a beam of light

That exists in the dark

Built to last

Too strong 2 break down

I'm a beacon of light

For all that are around

The trials nd bullshyt u put me through

Just another step closer to ridding myself of you

And once my brotha is free

You'll have no satisfaction

Of trying to destroy me

Cuz i wont b around

Tearz hang from my eyelashes

Ma emotions torn from your verbal slashes

But i heal quick

And as tha thought of u makez me sick

Youu r still my father

But trust nd believe

When its all said & done

And i have achieved

All that i set out to do

Your role in my past

Shall not be forgotten

I'll use ur face as pavement

Walk on it....

On my path to Greatness

I Used to be A Star

I used to be a star….

But in the beginning…

I used to be nothing

Just a cloud of dust that began to rotate

I would spin, slowly

Tryna figure out what it would take

To be a star

To belong in the cosmos with the greats

I got myself together

And before ya knew it

I was spinning faster

At unrecognizable speeds

I was on my way to being something….

Idk what this “something” was….

But dammit its better than where I was

 I realized I wanted to be my own star

Massive, luminous, a stand out guy

Y’all should’ve seen me

And soon I grew

A Giant in my own right

Naw…I was a supergiant

You couldn’t miss me at night

You could see the glow

The aura that drew you in

I was there man…

Ask me and im there

You need it, I got it….

Cuz I’m a star

Bursting with activity

A Supernova in these streets

My shoulders bigger than the cosmos

All the secrets the universe has told me

Because they know

I wont hurt their soul

But…

When you begin to pull so much in

And nothing comes out

I suppose theres no where left for the energy to go

In the end…I had a blowout…..

All the good I did

All the days I grew

And now here lies….a cold black hole