Your Happy

....In a world where the selfish rule

with an iron fist

And passion is most found in dreams

Someone must've made a hell of a wish

That someone like me would come

And try to fill his world with some happy.

Even if temporary

I'd let you borrow parts of my soul

if it meant your world could feel whole

for just a few more minutes

And never questioned it

Cuz who couldn't use a pick-me-up

Even though at nights it tired me out

I wanted to curse, scream & shout

Proclaim my frustration at life's situations I found myself in

But I would hold it in, cuz I'm strong enough

I'd focus on what made me happy

And that's making others happy

But that's not needed now

All thats needed sometimes is a lil jump start

And you too can produce your own Happy

Wake it Up

I stepped up
Not knowing what to say
But somehow I knew
That you were just gonna be mine after today

Quit lookin down
Fixed my lips to speak
But quickly closed them
Couldn't get out a peep

Something about you was mesmerizing
Blinding in nature
I was fixated on the aura that surround you
....& yet my dumbass still couldn't say hey yet

"Hey...my is Funny...
Yes...that's my name...
you can call me that if you want"
I could see in your eyes.....its all game
You'd eye roll if you could
& I'd laugh it off, give a lil cough
About face & walk away
Mission for the day complete
But hey...it is what it is....
At least we spoke
Just another thought to us being one......

& Then I woke up.......

Mi Purga Uno

At times I don't I know whats best for me
Is it person, place or thing
That I'm out here trying to seek
Everyday is a confusing mundane repeat
Of something different...
yet its all the same
I try hard to maintain
But hey...even the strongest have a weakness

Mine....me? weakness....?
What's my weakness?
My heart....has to be the only answer
...well the only one I could muster
The beating drum that keeps me alive
Appears to be the cancer....slowly eating at me
I guess heart would be the real life representation
of feeling....so let me not say that much.

But I will say this....
I'm tired of feeling...and then the rationalizing...
And the reminding of whats real & fake that comes with it all
I'd rather say fuck it all
Cuz its easier that way
But of course thats not how this course works
Not tomorrow, not yesterday & not today
My life role is to be the supporter
The shoulder, the crutch, the dick
Whatever makes you feel better
Whatever makes you not feel as sick
When life begins to beat your face in
Call me & I'll stand in your place
Rest while life gets some licks in.


Yes I know I'm not making any sense
But this is just the beginning
To getting my rhythm back
And starting my mental cleanse

One Day Mayb (09/15/08)

Times neva cease
Gravity does pull
Things Flip (Brookmere!)
I'll trip
Nd wen I fall in life, It hurts

But Then I thought
Wat if One Day Mayb...
Wat if I Fall, Nd I doesn't hurt?
Wat if i cease to feel?
Feel joy
Feel pain
Feel life's sunshine
Feel life's rain
Wat if One Day Mayb...
I go from a being full of life
To just an empty shell
To cast human emotion
To the gates of hell
Into exile, out of sight
Out of mind.
Wat would it be like
If i saw you cry
I couldn't feel your pain
If i saw you mad
Id let you go insane
If you smiled at me with your eyes, 
I wouldnt catch the jist
It seems as tho the world as i kno
would cease to exist
If one day mayb....

Its like some of us treat those close to us.
Like all feeling has left our bones
Like past, present, & future feelings no longer hit home
Tears of sorrow are like ghosts
They go rite though you
Silence is a knife, cuz it'll tear right through you
Thats why i speak my mind
Bcuz a closed mouth leaves the world nothing left to do but assume
And we all kno damn well tha world assumes the worst
So open your mind, mouth & ears
Cuz you can't assume the "true" life i live
Cuz you can't handle the "true" life of a

Flipped (08/27/08)

Welcome Back...

Society's Been Tryin Me
Love's Been Lyin 2 Me
Evil Hidez in Me
And Still I try 2 be
The best person that could ever reside in me.
And they say...I flipped

BUT...

Is it I who took a life 360
or is it those who sought to frighten me
those who want to see me
Back where I shouldn't be
Those who could neva see
What true "depths" lie in what they see
Because they see me, and yet they can't see "ME"

The "ME" that sleeps, wen I'm up
The "ME" that awakens wen I want to give up
The "ME" that is fearless
The "ME" that I call my "HEarTLeSS"
The "ME" that always & forever shall be a "WE"

Ma Bro told me "Be Ready"
CuZ Shyt Gon Flip
Gravity Gon PulL
Cuz We All have our gifts
But with a gift, comes our curse
Cuz we have a Curse
The Curse is the "ME" on the inside
The Curse that we've all been given to demonstrate
To the World that our life was not a fluke

Heartless/Nobody (Part 2) (02/28/08)

So i suppose you was waitin 4 me 2 explain

Da second part of the name

Tha name dat branded ma soul

That began tha tale

That tale that is now beginning anotha chapter

A chapter in tha story of a legend

Nobody

Lame, wack, social leper, those were namez for it

It always seemed dat i was an outcast

Seemed to be no avoidin' it

Wateva was happenin in tha world,

i was usually four steps behind

Night life............wat was dat

I stayed in da house and dat was dat

Final Fantasy nd mayb a lil madden

Mondayz were tha worst

Always had 2 listen 2 othas bout wat had happened

Man just 4 once

I wanted 2 b apart of it

But I stayed away

for fear of rejection

I became a member of my own section

outcast of society

but never did i lose

tha tru part of me

never felt tha need 2 fake a front

to put on a big stunt

fittin' in was neva dat important

i rocked ma cheap azz shoes

each and every day

excelled in sports

nd brought bak All A'z

that face in tha clouds

still refuses to fully surface today

but im lettin ma good side show

the dark part of mah life

helped me show my light

to those that kno me

dey kno im right

where'z there'z light

there'z also tha dark

i've learned to live with both

nd never will we part

my light keepz helpz me smile

my dark keepz me alive

put them 2getha...u have a man wit pride

AJ is ma Heartless

Henry is ma Nobody

Put em 2getha

nd u got 1 hell of a sumbody

so people

embrace your darkness

cherish your light

use them both

to do wat chu feel is rite

....Laugh At Me

....Take a second and chuckle with me
....Take another second and laugh at me
Laugh because I'm a mere shell of my own personal glory
Chitin based outer being that was much deeper.

Feel my ups
Relinquish my downs
Take a gander at all my turn arounds

Life is but a weird conundrum
And I am no different
But honestly I wish to be seen as normal
Than to stand out in it.

I notice my inequities
My abilities & levels of higher thinking
Clairvoyance aside
Sometimes I just dont want to hear my mind ticking
 
In a world where people do their damnest
to find their own path
And still manage to blend in
I'd rather mask the things that make me great
Just to travel amongst the mundane
& not see every angle
every possibility
every outcome
every fate


I'd rather see life as it hits me
square in the face....
So laugh at me...
nothing more left to do...
But laugh...because in all my uniqueness.....
I'd rather appear to be like you.....

Drifting

Let my soul float
Away from my being
Forget all logic
Forget all reasoning

Let me drift
Let me sway
Allow me to forget there was a today
Allow me to forget there was a yesterday

I dont care that there will be a tomorrow
Or the possibility that there may not be a tomorrow
My pain is non-existent 
& So is my sorrow
When the music takes me away
None of you can touch me.
I am awake, alive, & invincible
Nothing but dark, starlit skies above me.

Let my soul, drift away from my body
And the beat take me away
Mellow out & disappear from this troubled place
As soon as I hit play.....