Work Of Art (October 19, 2008 at 2:30am)

Hard on the eyes at first on her
Harder once ur talkin to her
Hardest wen ur gettin to kno her
Resisting temptation
Temptation not to touch....
That magnificent Work of Art
God's Gift to my eyes
But wats are eyes
Eyes are merely tools of deceit

Tha True MasterPiece is located within
So deep down it takes months to fully figure out
wat you have in front of you
But how many of the onlookers want to discover ur hidden wonders
Merely interested in ur other "treasures"
They plunder the landscape of your body
But no....thats not wat im here for
Thatz not wat i came to do
The time will cum
So with time....so will you

But wats the rush
If its worth it, of course i'll wait
in the mean time
there's much more i'd like to measure on my plate
you've got style
you've got class
nd a body thatz worth-while
you say i've got wat u need
i say nothing...just simply smile

lyfe is funny
tha art that you want, won't always be on display
but dayum wen you see her,
it sho as hell makez ur day

smile on ma face
head in the sky
smile and stare
and she passes by

SHYT SHE SPECIAL
DATZ DAT WORK OF ART

~NOBODY~

Dreamz Shattered (September 21, 2008 at 5:16am)

I once had a dream.....

A room, filled with tha stars of tha universe.
A boy, filled tha dreams of a million lives
A world, filled with tha power to bring down dreamz
A reality, filled with people that aren't as they seem

Tha boy growing up in tha cold world alone
The world dying due to tha harsh reality hidden from the people.
SO wat happenz wen tha patchwork quilt of life
Getz so carefully sewn
with tha truth scattered across its pattern
Thus keeping tha world in check,
Tha boy, a dreamer,
And reality, hidden...

But one day....
tha seamstress takes TruTH
and places it equally across tha quilt of life
SHYT FLIPZ...(LOL)

Its seems that reality crashes down on tha world
causing tha world to strap tha boi down
he's trapped in tha room of stars...
so calm..so serene
then appears a million dreams
Dreams everywhere,
Dreams of accomplishments
Dreams of life
Dreams of leaving tha struggle
Dreams of never having to gripe
Dreams of moving up
Dreams of moving on
BUT
This is Reality...right????

One by one...
Tha boy once filled with joy
Watches that every dream he saw shatter
One by one, like a child breaking a toy
It Broke...
Almost a million gone
Dreams that belong
Belong in our hearts
Belong in our thoughts
There was one dream left
Nd b4 it shatterd
Tha boi sprung free from tha world,
Free from reality
Jumped as far & high as he could
For as far he could see
Tha last dream was his
Nd couldnt let it go
So he snatched it
Nd placed it in his heart
Nd refused to let it go

Reality snapped back
Place him in tha trap that
he wanted to leave so bad
But tha World told him that was his place
That was his position in tha race
tha race of life
But tha Boy had a dream in his heart
So he now had a choice
Reality could no longer hold him down
Tha World had to bow down
Cuz he refused to back down
And that Boy
Is tha One named ~HEARTLESS~, 
tha ~NOBODY~ that stands b4 you now

Father (September 15, 2008 at 2:33am)

(Lupe Fiasco - He Say She Say was in ma head during this entire piece so its...well...yea)

FATHER

So...da question is where to begin
Such a sensitive subject for many in this world
We all have one but yet
Alot of people kno one,
Alot kno but sill refuse to KNO em
Some come around but once in awhile
Some will neva return to tha place you call home
Some are the missing piece to your smile
Some are the tear in your eye.

My FATHER
We bare tha same name
But both love the same thangs
We play tha same game
But I see tha game of life different

One of the smartest individuals
That I will ever come to know
But the route he chose
Is not the one i would liked him to go
Wat once was a happy home
remained happy wen you left
But tha key is, and always will be, "You Left"
Life flipped from dat point on
Three kids and a mom
Down at VA beach
father to the south, once in awhile i would see.
Once a great being, greatness never left
But it seemed dat $$$ and evil goes hand in hand
Directly proportional in dis land
Wen one got up, it brought tha other along for tha ride
So wen business got up, all i saw was $$ in ur eye
But i still envied your expertise in all tha world
From business to football and even girls

Sadly tha older i got, tha shorter communication became
I played ma game, You played your game
Living in tha same room
And things still felt distant
Once inside, things were bout quiet as a mouse
I felt safe outside the confines of the house
So that is where i stayed
For as long as i could until it was time for me 2 lay
sleep until tha morning sun came
only to leave again
knowing tha rules of the house was simple
but tha way things went werent so simple

Things will neva change
I am your son
You are my father
All the respect goes to you
even though at times i fail to understand and sometimes recognize you

HAF SR to HAF JR
your legacy i shall carry

What I've Learned This Week

....just for kicks....
...here's a quick rundown...
...of what I happened to pick up on...

____________________________________________________


Here we go.....WELL.....

my mental lock has been opened up
and I feel like my writing is back
I like that I'm able to express myself
without opening my mouth to say a word


I'm afraid of the looming changes that are coming
The future is creepy...going on about the future on your own
waaaaaaaay more creepy

Some people will never acknowledge their own wrongs
But will be quick to point yours out
& when theirs are brought to the table
it holds no comparison to how its handled in reverse
*shrugs*....duly noted

I'm just tryna stay above water.
I cried this week...publicly.....
It wasn't liberating...I didn't feel better
It hurt.....real bad....it still hurts
Cried last night....might cry tonight...

Talking to people helps
Just dont know how to do it consistently
So used to being on my own for my own problems
Just used to being the ears for others....
I'll learn one day

Let the countdown begin tho....

......Vent...Purge....Whatever

ok.....
This year is just for me
Just to get some things out cuz see
I dont know what its like to be me
right now...I dont feel whole
I paint on my happy face
When I awake
Becuase I dont know how to deal
I dont know how to acknowledge & assess whats real

So I decided to just use this as my canvas
I dont know how much is gonna spew
Or how organized it'll be.
But I'm just gonna type until I cant.
Dont expect any continuity, rhyme or reason
If you happen to stumble upon this.

*Deep breath*

Who Am I?
When did I become so weak?
Why do I worry so much?


Why wasn't I there for you?
You took a knife & literally carved out my future.
Told me I would never have to deceive anymore
Would never have to thieve anymore
Would never have to grieve anymore
The next day I was in the back of the 12 mobile
...a few months later I landed in the 704
....and I made a change...while knowing cuz of you
I'd forever remain humble, remain changed, remain heartless.
words will never be able to explain my hurt
or my gratitude.....I've had such a change in attitude
and i owe it all to you.....and now you're gone....
What the hell do I do now...
I've tried all my usual coping methods
And all its doing is exposing their massive ineffectiveness
Just feel like.....ehh fuck it.....

Why aren't I good enough for the truth?
The malice & poison you throw at me
Has to burn somewhere In there somewhere
because of the truth that lies out there where the Trojans play
but of course theres no way I'd ever know about it
History repeats itself I guess
& we appear to be two plates
following the tectonic flow of landmasses.

Is running away my best option?
I don't wanna go anywhere
But i feel....stagnant, complacent & useless.
and not to anyone...I mean for myself....
Cuz I put myself in this position
And now I have to pull myself out of myself....

Why...why why why

Sometimes I dont give a fuck
Other days I care too much
and sometimes i'd rather just launch all of my memories
into outer speace....

Miserable right now man....seems that football is my only pick-me-up

.....so...quick question

....at what point in time did the concept of "opinion" disappear off the face of the earth? How is it that if someone doesn't like a person, place, idea, or concept like you do, it is then ok, to attack this person's credibility and/or lifestyle or basically their opinion? Strange world we live in. People now have platforms where their 2 cents can be heard and felt at any time. But if someone were to DIRECTLY disagree with said 2 cents, you'll go out your way to belittle said person.

How does this work? When did this happen? People are so weak in their own mind where they can't accept the fact that someone sees a certain concept differently from  you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hearing another person out and still holding on to your own opinion. I mean....that is the basis of opinion right? Everyone can have their own that can be molded or shaped by what the eyes & ears take in & other influences. People are forever evolving mentally, both in a positive & negative manner. But it is very important to see that in order to make it far in this life, you have to not be so thin skinned. Everyone is not gonna like you, your mind, your ideas.......


O THE FUCK WELL...

Smiles

"Today is a day.....so its always a good day to smile....."

Smiles are so very necessary these days.

Smiles are a signal

Smiles are a deterrent

Smiles are indicators of great things

...past & current.

From the youngest to the oldest

A smile is universal

A smile is infectious

A smile shows the world

your day is currently headin in the right direction

A smile is golden

A smile is divine

So why dammit

....can't I seem to find mine.....

Maybe........

Do I seem perturbed?
Maybe I am
Maybe I am not.
Maybe I'm just releasing alot of things I had on the inside
Maybe I'm just taking in more than I can hide.
Maybe I'm destined for greatness.
Maybe I'm heading for failure.
Maybe I'm on a cosmic ride called life and I dont know where its taking me.
Maybe I'm crazy.
Maybe I'm insane.
Maybe I'm just here to change the game.
Maybe the game is broken...
Maybe life is supposed to be easy
Maybe I lied

...(ok I lied)...

Maybe you lied too?
Maybe thats what people that care do?
Maybe thats NOT what people that care do? (LOL)
Maybe you dont care?
Maybe I dont?
Maybe I should eat something?
....maybe I won't....
Maybe I want some water
Maybe I want some liquor
Maybe I should leave her alone
Maybe I Should kiss her
Maybe I'll do something productive today
Maybe I'll be lazy
All these questions & I never once questioned...
Maybe my black ass is crazy....

Maybe the laugh's on me
& Life was telling me a joke...

or thats how the song goes lol......

#HeartLess